fickle minds

let me figure this out..*i have to recover from the non-blogging time*..too long since i last EXPRESSED something here.

i should start off with my day at college. HOT. FUN. EXCITING. ANXIOUS. NERVOUS. BORING. ENJOYABLE. SUPRISING~

looking at passers-by is sort of a habit i think? couples walk hand in hand, some even passionate and affectionate that they hug each other while walking at the same pace..how SwEEt! Singletons hanging out with buddies and their gfs. never knowing what may be happening btw them, it was great and cute seeing and trying to figure them out. occasionally bumping into a hunk at college has been pretty normal already. well that’s why they’re there for anyways?

Terrible me been slacking in college due to the ‘comfortable’ schedule i ‘fortunately’ had and couldn’t do a thing to change it. just found out that my insanely inhumane genius friend got 98% for CALCULUS!!! OMG>>>>>>>he has achieved the impossible!!! good for him anyways, smarty pants. fair skin guys actually look real good in pink..hehe..

complimenting someone doesnt always mean you’re attracted to them? i dont know about you but i feel this way lately. moreover, you only love to tease those who you care for? if you dont like that person at all, why bother going through the thinking to tease them? lol..nonsense me.

at least i’ve done something constructive and relieving today-finding out more about my degree in the

US

!!! woohoo…at least there’s still a teeny weeny glimpse of hope there. i will NOT give up on my future!!!!

VaLeNtINe’s is coming, it somewhat intimidates me this year, probably because i will be single..haha..like i wasn’t last year. oh well, don’t exactly need anyone to make myself happy though. found passion in yoga (i know, grandma’s exercise-at least that was what i once thought) but seriously, if you really think so, go try it out and i ASSURE you that you will think otherwise. yoga is no joke.it’s really tough, thanks to my inflexibility. hehe..most people can do most of the postures. so yeah, you peeps who have nothing of interest atm, please try yoga.haha..it can be addictive..

i’ve said too much for today..should get back to work! got so much to do with so little time..OMG..goner..test on FRIDAY!!

so much for the ‘holidays’. oops, i meant ‘holiday’.

hmm…it has  been forever since i last blogged.sadly it was because i was hopelessly lazy not to mention the busy daily errands i had to run for my mom.altho i dont quite mind doing them..lol..the 2nd week of college has ended gracefully. i managed to stick to my new diet regime-YoGa FrenZY!!!
so it’s pretty simple.Yoga 5 days a week.hope to achieve 7, considering the time i have i dont think i can manage 7.about my classes, actually come to think about it, having to have 2 n a half hrs break isnt that bad after all..at least i could do all my unfinished work then..hehe..how naughty.i pretty much attempt my work every evening jz so i dont fall into my lecturer’s blacklist..oooo….SpOOKay~god knows wat language is that..
oh well..no restrictions for blogs anyways..
basically i have wonderful and dedicated lecturers for all 3 of my subs..and i’m truly grateful.seriously. first period of the day would be calculus.wat a subject to start a day heh? lol..oh well..it’s alrite really apart from the fact that my slow and congested brain cant understand what the lecturer is saying.BUT…i wonder why is there always a but..yeah but..i will try my best to understand it so that i wont be left behind to rot!!! OMG>>i still have my OSSLT to revise!
life is jz tough..haha..but fun at the same time.adventurous..Yoga..ShoPPIng..fOOd..FrIEnDs..StUdiEs in AMericA..wow..the feeling is jz overwhelming.(that’s if i get accepted into the United States)
Apart from all that normal things in life, my LoVe Life= 0, zero, nothing, so so pathetic to even have the guts to put this here.haha….so NOT..learning to become independent and self reliant seem to be the most important thing to me these days knowing that i dont have many friends to accompany me during my LoNG LoNG LoNG break..but i’ll survive…i think..haha
that’s all about it…for NOW..i need to recharge so that i can wake up EarLY ToMorroW!!!
Love all of you guys!!!

BRriiiiiinGggg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! there goes the alarm clock…it’s 9am on a Monday morning.thank god i’m on a holiday..no college..
took a bowl of banana yoghurt..YuMmY~
hit the gym at 10am..joined the RPM class..the insane cycling class at the gym..however, i was crazy to pull it through….for the day…at least.
after that was grocery shopping at Carrefour, grab a boz of doughnuts for brothers then went back home.and what i did after that, i simply forgotten, probably bcoz it involved endless binging..bleh…
apart from all that, life’s been great during the hols.i wish i could be more determined to hit the gym everyday though.
maybe i will start a new resolution of the year for myself..
to be Ms.Fit..wahhhaha..i shall give it a try…when the time is right..
it’s really boring anyway, cant wait to go back to college and start studying again..woohooo~
to everyone out there, i wish you all Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year!!!!!!

detox-elimination of all toxin from the body.

purpose-to clean the colon, liver, kidney and whatever that’s congested.

cause-eat too much outside food which contains chemicals, radicals,and all the ‘amazing’ seasoning man kind invented.

process-go through juice therapy 5 times a day, dinner-salad n soup, drink 4L of water.

effect-lost of weight(probably just dehydration), feeling weak, looking slightly better, clearer complexion.

last Saturday which was the 9th of Dec, my family and i went to Selesa Hillhomes to undergo a detox programme organised by my yoga instructor who happens to also be a doctor. it was purely out of the concern of my own health that i decided to go.

arriving there, we started with a juice therapy(which was disgusting), it was something like fear factor minus all the living things that they consume. we had beetroot+orange+lemon juice(EwWw), also carrot+sesame+cucumber+apple juice(you really dont wanna know what it tastes or even looks like) and the worse was the liver flush=1lemon+olive oil+wheatgerm(god knows what the heck is that)+herbs.

well just fyi, we dont drink all day and go to bed, we perform some yoga exercises in order to distribute the water to the WHOLE body and to burn some calories by pumping in loads of oxygen into our hearts.it was EXTREMELY exhausting, not to mention the fact that all we consumed were juices.looking forward to dinner(salad and soup), i was disappointed when the salad tasted like lemon juice with crispy n tasteless vege. the taste of it itself was revolting, despite the fact that i’m a vege lover…

next they even gave us some concoction to drink so that we will start purging..OMG.just imagine everyone rushing to the restroom.it was terrible.the churning pain in the stomach was something i wish i dont have to face in the near future.it was so bad that i can barely walk.my knees were weak, thanks to the fact that we were staying at the highest floor..had to run up 8flights of stairs everytime we wanted to return to the room and  this excluded the time where we had to go to the gymnasium for yoga practises(3flights) and during the juice therapy(2flights). to sum that up, i think i walked about 80 flights of stairs on saturday and 60flights on sunday.

now that i’m home, i’m down with flu and throat infection, god knows why. and the very fact that i got so many insect bites!!!

nevertheless, i feel that everyone should detox once in a while so that they can prevent so many illnesses from happening upon them. suffer for a few days and you shall reap the benefits! so have fun while you’re at it!!

How is that it seems so easy for people to get together for ever and not even a chance for me? i’ve tried so hard to become good, nice, and changed all my bad habits in order to fit into the ‘ideal gal group’.but now i realised that by doing that, i’m losing myself, who i really am.

i still get the usual excitement and thrill when i see your name pop up in my mail but was let down when i found out that you’ve gotten over me.time is always against me.wonder why…every time things turn out well, they simply wont last but when it turns sour, it takes a thrillion years to pass by.

when you said that it’s onlyl be possible for US to even happen when i go to Melbourne, my heart felt the worst pain for as long as i could remember. i really loved you and was willing to give you anything i could but i suppose it simply wasnt enough. when i hear people talking about you, i cant help but hate them for not loving you…i always wished that everyone would love you the way i do but i know that’s impossible. well..it’s just a thought anyway..no harm done.

but really, there isnt any hope for us anymore? not the tiniest bit of hope?

i’m lost for words my dear..enlighten me..

i couldnt describe how i feel right now but it’s a mixture of betrayal, insincerity, selfishness, and unfaithfulness.. it aint such a good combination after all. cant even bear the thoughts of thinking about anything other than what i have done with my life so far?

getting all the A’s in the world doesnt exactly fills the void in my life.there’s no true fulfillment and contentment in what i am doing currently. being on top of the world may be everyone’s dream but it aint mine alright. although sometimes u think u can trust someone, you actually can’t.

when you think that a person is very nice and loyal to you, you’re actually WRONG. they turn their backs on you when you’re in real need. that’s when they show their true colours. hoping only for the best in their lives, i hope they’re happy with what they have done. knowing for a fact that infidelity was most likely to happen, you insist on indulging into the puddle of mud. so whose fault it is? no one but my own.

insensitivity is actually rather common in most guys these days. disregarding how you feel or think by all means in order to satisfy their hunger isnt really what i want in a guy. although there are times when you feel like you’re falling and about to snap, you should stop and think if it’s all worth all that?

people who dont appreciate what you do for them dont deserve your care and attention at all.they only show you how true ur friendships are.supposedly there wasnt any in the first place?why would anyone on earth want to do that? well there are ppl like that fyi..sigh..life is too short to cry over spilt milk, no point wasting time being upset over silly things that you’ll laugh about in 10 years time. it’s not such a big a deal anyways? aint it?

realising the very fact that you aint all that likeable is the utterly relevant to your self esteem..figuring the very idea that actually you arent that important is equally as crucial..

i was just wondering what do i want to become in the future? as much as i like art and craft, probably it should just remain as an interest or just a hobby. besides that, i love reading books on nutritions and health. knowing what’s best for my body makes me excited and eager to plan my next meal.

but can the both of my interest earn me a living in the future? slim chance. therefore, i think i might as well settle for accounting n finance and perhaps marketing. thinking about these subjects makes me feel dreadful about my education in university.

is it really practical to pursue a dream where u arent sure of? as much as i love doing all those things, i have to think of the reality world. can i really survive on card makings? sigh….

when someone refuses to let go and move on, they will be the ones who suffer the  consequences.knowing for a fact that there aint any more hope, persistence will only be a fool’s choice. passing each living day with adventurous and exciting events not only spice up one’s life, it also makes the person feel a sense of belonging, in this world.

hoping for a miracle to happen is just like waiting for pigs to fly. in fact, miracles only happen on those who have done much good and who deserves it.

sometimes i wonder myself, what am i doing with my life? am i making full use of it? or am i simply wasting my life on things that are not worth my time? is loving someone who doesnt love you as important as not loving someone who loves you dearly? i’m confused by my words..the thing is up till this very moment, i’m unsure of which is most important to me, my family and my friends.

i’ve always wanted to travel around the world, to look at the world in a totally different perspective, meeting the fortunate and unfortunate ones. believing what you hear is simply an idiot’s job but most humans are idiots.including myself. every time i tell myself i shouldnt listen to what others have to say about something but always end up affecting my perception. how lame is that?

nonetheless, there are times when i stand by my principles and hold on to it till the very end. i will never let my personal beliefs waver because of the influences of others whether it’s my parents or the media or my friends. i believe in what i believe.

is it wrong to like someone you’ve known half your life? well make that 2/3 of your life? perhaps loneliness has its ways to make people fall for the wrong people at the right time? looking back in the past makes one feel lament, joy, nostalgic, happy, wonderful, annoyed, memorable, and unforgettable.

pondering on the past will never bring any effect to the present while looking beyond the future will only make one feel hopeful and left disappointed. so what should one do? maybe being likeable isnt really the most important thing.it’s who you can turn to when u’re down that matters.

realising one’s true colours can truly be enlightening. i suppose humans are just alike with most having 2 faces.what’s wrong telling the person that you dont like them in the face?i strongly feel that is most appropriate as at least one is being honest to the other? dont u think?

but it aint easy confessing to someone whom you know would only treat you as a friend for ever and ever. but is it possible for that to change? hmm…i dont have a clue.as far as this matter is concerned, i find that people who end up liking their ‘best friend’ or ‘childhood friend’ or ‘long lost friend’, will always be the happiest couple. (including it’s a mutual attraction kind of thing, if not it’ll only be both termenting and miserable)

the bottom line is that i hope for nothing but the best for everyone out there!

Meeting you was a pleasure;

Getting to know you was fate;

Thinking about you was simply unbearable;

Being with you will always be unforgettable!!

It was almost like yesterday when i first got to know you. Being the center of attention simply did miracles. Observing and figuring you out was a sight for sore eyes. Hoping so much to speak to you, I was distracted away by the company. Although we didnt know each other then, you remain a mystery and adventure to me.

Texting you for the very first time was pretty silly but courageous i would say. Guys always complaint about girls being too passive and playing too hard to get until eventually the guys would choose rather not to get. Sad but it’s the truth. Remembering the first thing I said to you was you looked charming. You were polite enough to reply ‘you look stunning too’. Addressing me as my brother’s sister sort of disappointed me but it was all trifle when we decided to go out one day.

Unfortunately there wasnt anywhere nice that we could go to but Sunway Pyramid although the venue was not very important to me then. Blue collared T-shirt with a 3 quarters pants with funky accessories and a manly watch. It was all perfect.THEN…

To Be Continued…

how true is that?

knowing how precious one thing is, you just break it and you’ll end up spending your life paying for it. although it may not be valuable then, it may be some time in the future. you never know and would never want to find out because if you do, you’ll just be too late…

holding your strong arms makes me feel secured and protected.

seeing your picture reminds me of the times when i always bullied and took advantage of you. seeing myself then makes me feel disgusted of myself.

thinking of you at night is like a luxury before bed. imagining all the things that might have happened only made things worse.

so, treasuring everything you have is most essential in life~