fickle minds

Although I think I know what I want in life, I just realized I can’t really decide what matters to me. Losing someone whom I think isn’t important hurts me deeply. but the feeling is something that I wish I didn’t have to feel now. It pains so badly even at the thought of you. Your humour has made me grow on you.

Perhaps we were really not meant to be but somehow I sense the slightest glimpse of hope. It’s pretty obvious that you’re on my mind always. Need to focus, no time for unnecessary distractions, especially at this point of my life. I really WANT to KNOW what to do! OMG. I’m always so lost when it comes to relationships!!! I’m such a failure. Have to learn from past mistakes…omg omg..

I still remember the first day when I first met you. I thought you were charming and irresistible. But, there came another tall ‘blonde’ with legs so long that are just overwhelming. Your smile covered your little face with such precision that it fits as though it was meant to be.

In a brown wrap secretly concealing the pink within, there you were, towering right in front of me. smiling. we were sitting and laughing the next moment and I knew there was something between us. things happened pretty fast, it was as if we knew each other for ages. life is just very unique in its own way.

endless conversations and little chats in between classes, it blossomed.unexpectedly.

life is supposed to be filled with mystery and surprises but when too many falls at you simultaneously, you’d feel suffocated and drowned..not the best feeling in the world i would say…

he’s cute, almost too cute to be true…

then , he came so close to kiss me. BUT knowing me, i had to tell him that it’s not my culture to do that.

not recognising the hint, there pops the question, gf? OMG.

sometimes you stop to wonder what’s your purpose in life… to be successful? happy? satisfied? normal? eventful?

it’s not always the case. besides, those are pretty subjective, depending on the various interpretations one can argue.

to be living your dreams is a gift but what if that doesnt seem to be that important anymore? what does it take to make you realize the truly essential parts of your life? does it take a million miles to enlighten you? why does life have to be so complicated anyways?

studying isnt really everything in life but it definitely brings you further in life (although the process may vary from one person to another-the degree of ‘fun’).  does it take a mere 30days to be forgotten?

parting with your comfort zone may be one of the biggest transition that one can experience in life. it may sound terrifying to some, but to others, it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity!

preparing myself for a better future may be the key to motivate me throughout the course here in Vancouver. as much as i would love to enjoy myself here while i’m working real hard to cope with my studies, it’s almost impossible to catch a breath to breathe. often, we assume that the grass on the other side is greener only to find out that it’s in fact about the same minus the family and friends.

as awful as it sounds, it’s far from misery. independent life is something that everyone are entitled to at different points of their lives. mine is here and now..