fickle minds

BRriiiiiinGggg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! there goes the alarm clock…it’s 9am on a Monday morning.thank god i’m on a holiday..no college..
took a bowl of banana yoghurt..YuMmY~
hit the gym at 10am..joined the RPM class..the insane cycling class at the gym..however, i was crazy to pull it through….for the day…at least.
after that was grocery shopping at Carrefour, grab a boz of doughnuts for brothers then went back home.and what i did after that, i simply forgotten, probably bcoz it involved endless binging..bleh…
apart from all that, life’s been great during the hols.i wish i could be more determined to hit the gym everyday though.
maybe i will start a new resolution of the year for myself..
to be Ms.Fit..wahhhaha..i shall give it a try…when the time is right..
it’s really boring anyway, cant wait to go back to college and start studying again..woohooo~
to everyone out there, i wish you all Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year!!!!!!

detox-elimination of all toxin from the body.

purpose-to clean the colon, liver, kidney and whatever that’s congested.

cause-eat too much outside food which contains chemicals, radicals,and all the ‘amazing’ seasoning man kind invented.

process-go through juice therapy 5 times a day, dinner-salad n soup, drink 4L of water.

effect-lost of weight(probably just dehydration), feeling weak, looking slightly better, clearer complexion.

last Saturday which was the 9th of Dec, my family and i went to Selesa Hillhomes to undergo a detox programme organised by my yoga instructor who happens to also be a doctor. it was purely out of the concern of my own health that i decided to go.

arriving there, we started with a juice therapy(which was disgusting), it was something like fear factor minus all the living things that they consume. we had beetroot+orange+lemon juice(EwWw), also carrot+sesame+cucumber+apple juice(you really dont wanna know what it tastes or even looks like) and the worse was the liver flush=1lemon+olive oil+wheatgerm(god knows what the heck is that)+herbs.

well just fyi, we dont drink all day and go to bed, we perform some yoga exercises in order to distribute the water to the WHOLE body and to burn some calories by pumping in loads of oxygen into our hearts.it was EXTREMELY exhausting, not to mention the fact that all we consumed were juices.looking forward to dinner(salad and soup), i was disappointed when the salad tasted like lemon juice with crispy n tasteless vege. the taste of it itself was revolting, despite the fact that i’m a vege lover…

next they even gave us some concoction to drink so that we will start purging..OMG.just imagine everyone rushing to the restroom.it was terrible.the churning pain in the stomach was something i wish i dont have to face in the near future.it was so bad that i can barely walk.my knees were weak, thanks to the fact that we were staying at the highest floor..had to run up 8flights of stairs everytime we wanted to return to the room and  this excluded the time where we had to go to the gymnasium for yoga practises(3flights) and during the juice therapy(2flights). to sum that up, i think i walked about 80 flights of stairs on saturday and 60flights on sunday.

now that i’m home, i’m down with flu and throat infection, god knows why. and the very fact that i got so many insect bites!!!

nevertheless, i feel that everyone should detox once in a while so that they can prevent so many illnesses from happening upon them. suffer for a few days and you shall reap the benefits! so have fun while you’re at it!!

How is that it seems so easy for people to get together for ever and not even a chance for me? i’ve tried so hard to become good, nice, and changed all my bad habits in order to fit into the ‘ideal gal group’.but now i realised that by doing that, i’m losing myself, who i really am.

i still get the usual excitement and thrill when i see your name pop up in my mail but was let down when i found out that you’ve gotten over me.time is always against me.wonder why…every time things turn out well, they simply wont last but when it turns sour, it takes a thrillion years to pass by.

when you said that it’s onlyl be possible for US to even happen when i go to Melbourne, my heart felt the worst pain for as long as i could remember. i really loved you and was willing to give you anything i could but i suppose it simply wasnt enough. when i hear people talking about you, i cant help but hate them for not loving you…i always wished that everyone would love you the way i do but i know that’s impossible. well..it’s just a thought anyway..no harm done.

but really, there isnt any hope for us anymore? not the tiniest bit of hope?

i’m lost for words my dear..enlighten me..

i couldnt describe how i feel right now but it’s a mixture of betrayal, insincerity, selfishness, and unfaithfulness.. it aint such a good combination after all. cant even bear the thoughts of thinking about anything other than what i have done with my life so far?

getting all the A’s in the world doesnt exactly fills the void in my life.there’s no true fulfillment and contentment in what i am doing currently. being on top of the world may be everyone’s dream but it aint mine alright. although sometimes u think u can trust someone, you actually can’t.

when you think that a person is very nice and loyal to you, you’re actually WRONG. they turn their backs on you when you’re in real need. that’s when they show their true colours. hoping only for the best in their lives, i hope they’re happy with what they have done. knowing for a fact that infidelity was most likely to happen, you insist on indulging into the puddle of mud. so whose fault it is? no one but my own.

insensitivity is actually rather common in most guys these days. disregarding how you feel or think by all means in order to satisfy their hunger isnt really what i want in a guy. although there are times when you feel like you’re falling and about to snap, you should stop and think if it’s all worth all that?

people who dont appreciate what you do for them dont deserve your care and attention at all.they only show you how true ur friendships are.supposedly there wasnt any in the first place?why would anyone on earth want to do that? well there are ppl like that fyi..sigh..life is too short to cry over spilt milk, no point wasting time being upset over silly things that you’ll laugh about in 10 years time. it’s not such a big a deal anyways? aint it?

realising the very fact that you aint all that likeable is the utterly relevant to your self esteem..figuring the very idea that actually you arent that important is equally as crucial..