fickle minds

how true is that?

knowing how precious one thing is, you just break it and you’ll end up spending your life paying for it. although it may not be valuable then, it may be some time in the future. you never know and would never want to find out because if you do, you’ll just be too late…

holding your strong arms makes me feel secured and protected.

seeing your picture reminds me of the times when i always bullied and took advantage of you. seeing myself then makes me feel disgusted of myself.

thinking of you at night is like a luxury before bed. imagining all the things that might have happened only made things worse.

so, treasuring everything you have is most essential in life~

Hanoi, Vietnam: Arriving at the Hanoi International Airport. The skies seem to be covered by a layer of what seem to be dust and debris. The night was quiet and and roads were narrow. People didnt look friendly nor are they enthusiastic.

During the bus ride to the restaurant, i got to know a few new faces. The environment was awkward. After dinner, we went back to the ‘Hotel’. as small as any shop houses down at petaling street, both sides of the road were occupied with wedding gifts shops. Vietnamese there look somewhat similar to any Malaysians i know. The people there were looking at us as if we were aliens. Not knowing how to react, i just smiled and entered the hotel. Having some problems back at the room, the bell boy was needed. He came in with a grave expression and left with a giggle. He showed me that there are friendly people in Vietnam.

The next day started off like any other day of a vacation. Breakfast which was followed by some sightseeing in some funny places which i cant quite recall. Hoping that things would turn out better, it didnt. Nearing 5pm was a nightmare, it was after working hours. Motorcycles are seen everywhere. The massive traffic was bad enough to strike me a migraine. It wasnt any traffic, everyone was honking each other like no one’s business. To them, it was a normal thing to do. The noise itself was able to stress me out and made me go wild. However, the accident rates in Vietnam was suprisingly low. Much lower than in Malaysia. I just wonder why.

The following day was like no other than of the second. The only difference is that we got to watch this extremely tedious play which was held in the water puppet theatre. The name amazed me but the performance proved otherwise. We went back with great disappointment.

On the last day, the free and easy day. Well not exactly. In the morning, we went to the Museum.WoW. InTeReStInG~ Even had to pay to bring in a camera. People there were undeniably arrogant and cold. Like a dead fish. Next, we went to the shopping place where we were given out own time to shop around. Walking on the streets send me shivers down me spine. As usual, people were mocking us. Their stares could kill if it was a blunt sword. They were not like the Chinese in China. Maybe partly. But they didnt seem eager to sell anything as though they were expecting not to sell anything for the day. The attitudes pisses me off. A little friendliness would help. Buying things was torturous as the weather was humidly warm. There was no sign of any wind or rain. But the people seem to have no problem at all.

All the buying wore me out.

Arriving at the Hanoi International Airport for the second time. Feeling a sense of happiness that i will be going back to my comfy room. Flight got delayed for 90 minutes. What tragic. Got home at 3am when everyone was fast asleep. The day ended with a good night rest.

how is that some ppl are able to do things without any consideration? seeing that there is someone who made an effort to tell and advice her..? well i jz cant get it. there are so many things in life that you think you cannot miss but actually there are some things that are better missed than done..well actually i dont really know what i mean or what am i trying to say but it’s just a matter of influence.

feeling distressed and tired, i dont want to offer any crap to anyone anymore.it’s not like my intentions are appreciated or anything? so why bother right? although there are so many things out there which are out of reach, but there is always a way to obtain it..in some way or another. but i jz dont want anything to happen to you alright?

sometimes being unheard is really painful and annoying. i wonder how would u feel if your friends treat you as though you’re talking to the wall? i’m sure no one is quite fond of that?as much as i want it from you, i just somehow know that i cant get it..so what’s the difference if i did it or not?

controlling or holding back your feelings is one of the most difficult thing in life? dont u reckon so? i mean it aint easy to bottle up ur feelings till the end of time or even anywhere near that. therefore, i strongly believe in expressing yourself in every way possible because you might not know what is the outcome? how about experiencing it by yourself rather than sitting there and wonder what might happen? right?

possibly everyone on earth is able to do that, but we all know that’s pretty illogical. perhaps there are some ppl out there who cares for their so called pride and chose not to reveal or share their feelings..but i think that is totally absurd and unacceptable!!! ppl should learn how to talk to others with their body languages and sorts which are similar..

ok..listen up..especially to those who think laughing is a bad thing..do let me know if you think laughing is annoying to you and u’d rather have a quiet friend whom you dont even realise his/her presence?hmm… then i will know who to avoid..laughing is good for your heart tho..jz so you know.just laugh when u’re sad, immediately all the sadness will be gone!!! trust me..PLEASE try this at home.pls dun hate laughERs like me…embrace it..lol..

wonder why am i blogging this time? well intended to do my work BUT..Mr.Vernon Thong took my pen drive and didnt return it to me..so guess what? i can’t do my work…isnt that jz great? anyways, i dont really mind..but i can’t do nothing without my pen drive!!! omg!!! wat a waste of my life?! oh wait…i think i can do my stupid LAN report..what nonsense..daily reports for 5 whole days and a weekly report? which teacher on earth would be so stupid to want both? honestly speaking, it’ll only be my extremely intelligent LAN teacher..

the weather seems alrite today seeing that the past 2 days have been hell! it was so so SO HOT that i couldnt open my eyes(considering that i already have small eyes)..

actually i really dont know what to do without my pen drive? i certainly cant survive i would say..sadly.but all my work is in it!!!! i jz wana kill vernon now..

hmm..i wonder how long will my diet carry on this time..*thinking*..tho i hope it will last forever but i know it’s impossible. i currently am not going to the gym..hopefully it’s temporary only..coz of my stupid knee injury..so sad..then dun feel like eating too much..coz din exercise liao..feeling FAT..how i wish i could get this guilt off me..it makes me sick.how is it possible for some girls to stay so slim? i cant help but feel EnVioUSsssss..some even eat so much and they dont gain a pound! wont dat be great if it was me? so i could eat all i want.

however, i would like to start saving for my yr end shopping spree!!! can’t wait. but am totally broke right now, will b going out this sunday somemore..makes things worse.but i seriously cant help it as i’m feeling too much pressure now.bleh~ how i wish that i can have money so much that i dun have to worry about..

sigh..i think i better start revising on my OS..test tomoro..and my marks remained the same..although i tried harder this time..wonder what lame system is the college using..i certainly wouldnt want my marks to drop..am so sad right now..

all the best everyone!!!

why does most of the people i know have a lovely bf/gf? haiyor..makes me look like such an outcast..so sad..altho i aint really ready for one now, i feel so left out wei ..u peeps out there who have bf/gf pls make it an effort to sustain the relationship.. i love seeing my friends being happy..!!!

wow..today was such a short day..so fast it passed me by.early in the morning i was so stressed out about my mock marriage for families..then it carried on till afternoon..things were completely done and all..made me even more anxious..oculdnt eat or breathe properly.wonder how am i gonna survive the harsh world outside? oh well..i hope that all will turn out well though.

today i had quite a good time for english class…usual boring OS class..well today wasnt really boring actually..it was quite fun seeing that we had role plays..at least din hav to sit and listen to the lecturer the whole way through. as for accounts, woah..i had more than fun ..i feel like i was doing sth knowledgeable, sth fresh, sth WORTH learning!!!

other than that, i realised sth too..people always are your friends when u’re glorious, popular, doing good but not many are left when the table is turned around..perhaps only leaving those fews who are truly your friend..in this case-mine. knowing ppl from all walks of life gives me a different way of looking at things. i never try to judge thing at my first sight or that by listening to what others have to say about people..i would prefer exploring and getting to you the people by myself.

having such a yearning to further my studies to the UK, i have decided that i can play no more and have to put in my best efforts!! i will try my very best to achieve my dreams of studying in the UK since i’m no longer able to go to the US. of course my parents have a reason for telling me not to go to the US so my second choice would be the UK and i’m supposed to obtain an average of 91!!! OMG..i wonder if dat’s even attainable?

anyways, studies come first right? bf hunting can wait..so can i. i feel there’s no need to rush into things since i havent even found any guy in college who was able to keep my mind on him for more than 2 weeks!!so..BF—ZERO..hopefully for now only..wait till i have the time for one then perhaps i would try to open myself up to other ppl ..besides, according to the developmental theory…haha..no thx..was jk with the theory…no Families in my blog..no worries.bleh……..

oh yah, my friends also constantly tell me that i’m fairly capable of entertaining myself.they said that i’m able to laugh at my own jokes..and they dun have to do much to make me laugh..? is dat true? well i dun really know.all i know is that i’m pretty ticklish..can’t stand even a tinge of humour.i will jz laugh my head off..ppl might think i’m being lame or whatsoever but it’s jz me i suppose.so if u dont like, stay away…not like i care.i certainly wouldnt want ppl who dont like me to be around me..wahhaa..so mean!!

lastly, cant wait till year end!! party all night long!! omg omg…cant wait wei!!!

take care everyone~ bad weather..pls drink more water and get ample rest..!!!